An unusual love story

I have been reading Uma Trilok’s Amrita Imroz: A Love Story, I came across this sentence by Imroze, “A male can seldom look beyond the physical form of a female. He never tries to reach her soul, even as the woman fulfils all his needs, cooks for him, washes for him, gives birth to his children and so on.” His words caught me by surprise. I was wondering how a man could think so deeply for a woman. He was not married to Amrita. He was in love with her and so did she, but they never said ‘I Love you’ to each other. Yet they understand each other’s love. How could they say those words when every moment of their life was giving witness to the fact that they loved each other in a most civilized way where one does not impose himself/herself on the lover and respect and love his/her self-dependent existence. The above stated sentence seems strange when heard from a man’s mouth. A man can never understand a woman. When she gets married, she leaves everything behind. She leaves her house, her parents, her clothes and in some cases her name. She do everything for her man and what she gets in return…‘my family don’t like your name, lets change it to something else’. Reality is stranger than fiction…one gets to experience it when you see a woman compromising and adjusting day after day to fit into her new family. Yet after spending a couple of years in that house she is considered to be someone from outside. Her parents say, ‘this is no longer your house. Your husband’s house is yours now’. But when she is with her in-laws they say, ‘this is our house and you’ll have to live here in our way’. What an irony, inspite of having two homes, she is homeless. I’ve seen couples who are married for as long as three decades still the husband never said that he loves his wife. But with the younger generation being more broader in their outlook and more independent…what Imroz said could be understood by the GenZ men and a step towards an egalitarian society and ‘love’ ruling the minds!!!

Father of the Bride

Remember Steve Martin in the movie Father of the Bride. A father whose daughter is getting married is more anxious than the daughter herself…it’s hilarious but at the same time very stirring and tender. We cannot understand a father’s feelings and thoughts, what he feels when the daughter whom he has watched growing up, loved and pampered all his life is about to leave him in sometime soon. For whom he was the hero of her life for all these years, now suddenly going to be someone’s wife, someone’s daughter-in-law and stay in their house and leave this house for good. My dad has started behaving like this. He sometimes showers his love on me and every now and then looks at me so intently. I sometimes go red in face and sometimes I feel anxious of letting him go through all this. I’m persistently making efforts to help him accept and acknowledge the fact that I’m engaged and it’s all happening with his consent. But I think it is futile to reason the Father of the Bride to be. Because it isn’t the logic or rational thought that he wants to know, it’s the sentiments that he understands.

A Day to Remember

It’s been a day of such contentment when you have spent a portion of your day attending an imperative seminar cum workshop, meeting interesting people from across the country and another portion of your day with the most important person in your life. You talk to him over lunch and go for a long drive. Even if you do not say a thing to each other yet you enjoy the company. It’s really amusing how certain things you find silly at one point of time in your life you suddenly start enjoying those moments. I have certainly entered a new phase of life which is as significant as any other phase of my life that I have gone through. The beginning is good, hope it continues the same way and I take pleasure in acknowledging every new beginning and every new phase of my life.

Joining the brigade

Finally, I’ve said YES! I’ve said yes to tie the knot. I’m about to join the other side…I’m engaged!!!!! The feeling before and after saying those three letters is still the same…people say that you feel happy once you’ve chosen your partner. I’m happy but at the same time nervous. The day of engagement when we officially got engaged was an amalgamation of feelings of excitement, exhilaration, jumpiness, apprehension, and awkwardness.

The moment I entered the banquet hall, all eyes were on me….I’ve never been the centre of attraction when everyone present were scrutinising me from head to toe. I was tense with sweaty hands and stiff body. Each step towards the dais was incredibly heavy. It seems I’ve lost the sense of time. When I laid my eyes on the two bridal chairs on raised plateform, all those childhood memories came rushing, when as kids we took every opportunity to sit on those chairs meant for the bride and the bride-groom. The flash light of the camera brought me back to the present. The blinding lights were making me more nervous and I tried to look for my dad for solace. As soon as I approached the dais, the man….my husband to be…..extended his hand towards me and I took it….the thought of leaving my dad vanished coz now onwards I have two men in my life caring for me….my dad and this new man. I was feeling a bit awkward. Since I’ve never been with any guy in front of my parents and holding a guy's hand in full view of all the relatives and my heart skipped a beat. During ardaas my mind was in mayhem and myriad thoughts were crossing my mind. My throat choked with emotions. Then the moment came when we exchanged rings and he and his family made me feel so comfortable that I naturally became myself after a while. He was taking care of me when no body was around.

He ordered a cake for us; this was a very sweet gesture. He was constantly making efforts to make me feel at ease. He told me he’ll be wearing a suit but when I first saw him entering the banquet hall, he was wearing a golden coloured kurta and maroon turban. I always wanted my guy to wear this on our engagement and gave me such a pleasant surprise. When we were cutting cake, he looked for our parents for the cake cutting ceremony…..this put a big smile on my face coz I wanted my life partner to respect my parents the same way he respect his. When we sat for lunch…he did not touch his plate until my sisters settle down on the table to have lunch. We ate in the same plate and when the attendants were serving food, he always asked me before taking anything. He was so considerate that I felt as if I was sitting with a friend. His comfort level got passed on into me. He might be nervous as well but he never let it be evident on his face. Instead he made me feel succour all the time. When the event came to the close and we all went home…. I was in a state of bliss and tranquil. I found the one who’ll be mine and I’ll be his for eternity. Amen.

Went to Athens and returned in an hour….

Today, I travelled to Athens, marvelled its astounding ruins, appreciated its splendour, its exquisite city squares and returned back to Delhi, that too in just one hour. You think either I’m kidding or have gone nuts because what I’m saying is impossible. But I say it is possible and only books can make it possible. I’ve travelled to Athens through Sophie’s World, New York City through Nora Roberts, France and England through The Da Vinci Code, Michigan through Shadow Play, seventeenth century Europe through Wuthering Heights, British India through Godan, Hogwards through Harry Potter and many such beautiful cities which I cannot see otherwise in my short life span. Books make it possible for you to travel across time, in space, thousands of kilometres away in foreign lands while sitting in your living room or your bedroom or for that matter any place under the sun. ‘Books are for travelling without moving an inch’ (The Namesake). So I’ll be travelling many more cities and meeting many more fascinating people through my books. The journey continues…

My new life!

My mom said that it is a rebirth of a girl when she gets married. She starts a new life, with new people, in a new house and with someone whom she has just started to know. A girl dons a new avatar of a wife; a daughter-in-law, etc. (read chachi, mami, bhabhi.....). She leaves her house where she has spent her infancy, her childhood, her adolescence, where she had fought with her siblings, shared her intimate secretes with cousins, argued with her parents. She cannot do this in her new home. And if she did, then it would have dire consequences. She leaves her cupboard where she keeps her clothes, she leaves her bed where she has slept for so many years, she has to abandon each and every thing and moves into somebody else’s house, his room, his closet, she’s expected to forget her life and start afresh. Some girls change without much difficulty, those who can take changes easily. But someone like me who takes a lot of time to accept the change and accommodate accordingly, it is extremely intimidating. My apprehension about marriage is making me uncomfortable. But I will make a new beginning. I will make these new people my family and the new person as an extension of my own self. Wish me luck....

Eye Candy

Today, I was travelling in Metro with my younger sister. As usual I was engrossed in the book I was carrying for my daily Metro read. Suddenly she spoke, ‘there are a lot of eye candies in the Metro. Studying in a girls’ college seldom gives you a chance to see them.’ I asked her in bafflement, ‘what’s an eye candy?’ she replied, ‘a handsome looking guy.’ I thought for a moment and looked for an eye candy in the Metro. I noticed a guy, must be in his late twenties, wearing a pair of khakis and a cream coloured striped shirt. He was wearing rimless glasses. His lean physique and academic look appealed to me. I nudged my sister and said, ‘eye candy’. She looked at me in disgust and said, ‘that’s not an eye candy’. Then she scanned the bogie in search of a prototypical eye candy (according to her) and asked me to look at an ultra mod dude wearing branded clothes and listening music on his iPod. I argued that I found that man handsome so he’s an eye candy for me. But she obstinately stuck to her definition. I didn’t argue with her, rather took a last glimpse of my eye candy and retreat to my book and thought divergent sensibilities.